I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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