I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
