im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
