Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she told me i tasted like america
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
