Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize