I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
