Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
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Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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