Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
