Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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