Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
