Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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