everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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