I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Are we still banned from the library?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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