Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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