i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
