you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
