i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
