I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
