I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
