true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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