he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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