what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
