Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
