Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
