is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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