Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
