So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
