break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
