Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
