did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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