HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize