Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize