I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
