Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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