Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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