Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
