Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
