Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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