I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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