it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize