how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize