its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
FUCK WHALES
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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