yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize