Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
