shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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