God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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