So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
