About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize