so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize