Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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