After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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