There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
