you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
