Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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