Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize