Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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