YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
