Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
