Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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