I wanna passion pit in your ass
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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