just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
