The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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